on vacations and marriage

Attention all pastors, counselors, therapists! Save the couples you see countless hours of fighting and frustration. Add vacations to your list of pre-marital counseling questions. Sure, we all know you have to be on the same page about money, kids and sex. But I think we've done a disservice to the institution by leaving something as important as vacationing off of the pre-marital counseling checklist.

Mike and I are fundamentally different. This is not news. To anyone. One of our more drastic differences has shown up in how we like to vacation. I'm not even talking about mountains vs. beach, hotel vs. camping, driving vs. flying. No. It's more fundamental than that. It's pace. I found this out on our first real vacation. [Our "honeymoon" was so ridiculous that we can't even count that as our first vacation. (Most of you have heard that story. "WHODAT???")]

The second summer of our marriage we set forth from our apartment in SC for the Outer Banks. Because my car had the air conditioning, we always drove it. The clutch was crazy high in that car and Mike's legs are crazy long. So it was uncomfortable/nearly impossible for him to drive the Dodge Omni. Which meant that *I* always drove. I drove and drove and drove and then I think I might have driven some more. You see, Mike is not happy on vacation unless he is in constant motion. His idea of the perfect trip is one where you have experienced everything there is to see and do in a place. Then, my friends, you can check it off your list and you never have to return. So logical. So Mike. So. Not. Me. Taking naps, chilling, relaxing and chillaxing are all valid forms of recreation for me. Then there's reading a good book, soaking up a good sunset, strolling aimlessly -- all good things. Hit the high spots and take your time. We can always come back, you know. This difference culminated in me crying and begging for a hotel and a nap on the second day of near-constant motion.

Now, things have improved since then. We have a vehicle we both can drive. Mike has learned to slow down a bit. And I've become really adept at napping in the car.